HAY I WRITE GUIDE K

Lately I've been looking at guides on the wiki for giggles and shitfucks, and there is just soooooooo much fucking awesomeness going on, so Imma just start copypasta-ing the highlights.

From some SMN guide:

Quote :

Summoner is a really interesting job. It’s really awesome to play, awesome to look at, and super flashy to show off to all of your friends. It gets some of the coolest abilities and the most enormous pool of MP in the game. On top of having a ton of MP, it also gets some if it back over time, a trait exclusive to Summoner, Blue Mage (with the right Blue Magic set) and Paladin. However, Summoner isn’t really chosen for parties to use these special attacks and to let their gods of ultimate power to deal damage. Instead, Summoners are chosen for parties for healing. On the other hand, Summoner doesn’t have to buy a number of spells. Instead, they battle the avatars they want to control and the avatars learn their own abilities. but you have a bus-load of MP for any one using them, so Summoner is a wicked class for anyone wanting to play it.

And my favoritist sentence ever:

Quote :

Another benefit to Summoner is that it can pull link-free if you tell your avatar to disappear after you’ve grabbed one monster’s attention and started pulling but having a summoner pull isn't really recommended just because to much down time first the you have to wait for the summoner to get his avatar out then while he's pulling he may not make it back to camp because his defense is so low then you may have 2 let him rest more often which causes more down time, no it's best not to let a summoner pull.

Callisto wrote:

Summoner isn’t really chosen for parties to use these special attacks and to let their gods of ultimate power to deal damage.

This is my favorite sentence. You know hes one of those ppl with a 2x /p macro for every time he brings a pet out.

poor summoner :(

FUCKIN'

oh hell yeah

I have seen a few god awful guides in my day when I've leveled jobs that I wasn't intimately familiar with, let me see if I can find them

Note: Subjob to DRK 75, Ninja Roll hit unlucky more often than not in Sea Serpent Grotto when using the extra EVA on a THF tanking Charby. This would support the above theory as mobs in the area aggro LV 75 characters, which would be well above my Lv52 COR, or a Lv 37 COR subjob. Will rest further @ 75 and see if perhaps roll is based on Corsair Level or always at 37, in which case, it'd be similar to BST 75 as a subjob.

From a guide to playing COR on a budget.

ok I realized after about five minutes I didn't feel like looking for awful guides so here's something else that's hilarious and similar

Quote :

This picture is a mix of a grand vision, mediocre ability, and a severe case of 'fuckititus.' I had a mix of african and native american influences in mind, but then I realized I can't fucking draw and the basic outline is what's important. The black marks on the torso are not the biggest 'happy trail' ever, but a tatoo represeting roots or vines to signify a connection to the earth. I was tired of BLM being able to show off their guns when they got nothing to show, so I wanted to remake an igqira weskit-like piece for a job that actually fights. When I first drew the Axe, the Chocobo-head shape bothered me, but now I love it, it's perfect for it. I meant to have a lot of details, like arm bands, beads, and furs, but I just draped them around the neck to hide my inability to draw human anatomy. All in all, I'm proud of it, since it's the first I've drawn in 15 years and it showed me that drawing, like pretty much everything in life, is something I could kick ass at if I put in the time or the effort.

Callisto wrote:

And my favoritist sentence ever:

(WORDS)

I'm glad I carry a baggie of breadcrumbs with me, or I'd have never have found my way home after reading that.

Temp i love that drawing the Ho-Ho first really does it for me. It shows this dudes african roots power. Toby.

HAHAHAHAHAHA WTF

Rin wrote:

HAHAHAHAHAHA WTF

the guy who drew that started a fight with us because we mercilessly made fun of it, he got all mad and said our entry was uninspired or some nonsense

For comparison

http://www.cactusleaf.org/ffdj/index.php?title=Tempyst
http://www.cactusleaf.org/ffdj/index.php?title=LD

Dude...If you haven't seen the "contest finalists" i suggest taking a look... There are some real winners in there. Thanks temp for about an hour of laughs.

Veo wrote:

Dude...If you haven't seen the "contest finalists" i suggest taking a look... There are some real winners in there. Thanks temp for about an hour of laughs.

That entire contest was a slaughter. If you think the finalists are bad, look at the ones that didn't make the cut

wow, while it looks like some took alot of thought, others..... well i'll just let these quotes say it all

Quote :

TANK!'s two-hour ability, Killdozer, wrecks the shit out of the enemy.

Quote :

When having 6 TANK!s in a party who have unlocked AV TANK! mode, the merited job ability TANK!tron can be used to combine the 6 TANK!s into a giant-mecha-AV-fighting-ultra-TANK! of doom. Used to wreck the shit out of AV and receive phat lootz.

and dont forget the JT's

Quote :

20 Super Defense Bonus
25 Super Magic Defense Bonus
40 Super Mega Defense Bonus
45 Super Mega Magic Defense Bonus
55 Super Mega Ultra Defense Bonus
60 Super Mega Ultra Magic Defense Bonus
70 Holy Shit That's A Lot Of Defense Bonus TANK!
75 Holy Shit That's A Lot Of Magic Defense Bonus

wow. . . .

Melode wrote:

wow, while it looks like some took alot of thought, others..... well i'll just let these quotes say it all

Quote :

TANK!'s two-hour ability, Killdozer, wrecks the shit out of the enemy.

Quote :

When having 6 TANK!s in a party who have unlocked AV TANK! mode, the merited job ability TANK!tron can be used to combine the 6 TANK!s into a giant-mecha-AV-fighting-ultra-TANK! of doom. Used to wreck the shit out of AV and receive phat lootz.

and dont forget the JT's

Quote :

20 Super Defense Bonus
25 Super Magic Defense Bonus
40 Super Mega Defense Bonus
45 Super Mega Magic Defense Bonus
55 Super Mega Ultra Defense Bonus
60 Super Mega Ultra Magic Defense Bonus
70 Holy Shit That's A Lot Of Defense Bonus TANK!
75 Holy Shit That's A Lot Of Magic Defense Bonus

I'm still appalled that people thought that piece of shit entry was funny

nothing says thorough like using MSpaint on a screencap of a mithra mule

its the ones whos creators are dead serious that are the funny ones. someone being a dingleberry is just a dingleberry